tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.comments2023-03-24T05:01:11.829-06:00A Moment in my Arms, Forever in my HeartAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00684725024354798116noreply@blogger.comBlogger50125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-38532504740363133062021-01-05T20:02:07.538-07:002021-01-05T20:02:07.538-07:00Thank you so much for sharing this. My husband and...Thank you so much for sharing this. My husband and I are pursuing adoption right now so I'm educating myself as much as I can on the birthmother's side of things. The bravery it takes astounds and amazes me. I have wanted to adopt as long as I can remember. I started praying for my future adopted child/children when I was 12. We have a 10 year old son and are dealing with secondary infertility after the full term stillbirth of our daughter five years ago. Like you said, the birth mother I pray chooses us will be giving us and our son a gift that we could never have without her. I understand what it is like to leave the hospital without my beautiful baby so I feel like I can somewhat relate to a birthmother's broken heart. Is there any advice you can give me on how to ease our future birth mother's pain as much as we can. Is there anything I can do for her that will help lessen the sting?Alannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17097386458800161726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-18270896719493782072013-12-03T18:36:34.679-07:002013-12-03T18:36:34.679-07:00What a beautiful experience! Thanks for sharing :...What a beautiful experience! Thanks for sharing :)Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01128004235129212651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-35239547170732319972013-11-20T10:49:20.492-07:002013-11-20T10:49:20.492-07:00A beautiful interview! Thanks!A beautiful interview! Thanks!Colleen Oakeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14548749077604704648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-9586845391721271442013-10-26T10:52:48.282-06:002013-10-26T10:52:48.282-06:00I'm glad for you and your mental/emotional wel...I'm glad for you and your mental/emotional wellbeing that you are declaring yourself happy. That is good.<br /><br />However it concerns me that you repeatedly call yourself a "brat" and say you need to wash your mouth out with soap, as neither of those things are true. However you feel, regardless of how it may seem to others, it is how you feel, and it is valid. And instead of being grateful that you have these things and counting your blessing, it should just make you more outraged for the women prior to Roe v. Wade and before the era of more open adoption that don't have what you have. As a society, we are only as strong as our weakest link. We should be much louder and demand more for other women. The law is definitely stacked against us birthmothers, but we should never become complacent. There are victims of adoption, definitely. Our children were not unwanted sweaters we just tossed to the side, they weren't puppies in a shelter to be rescued, they are our flesh and blood, quite literally the most precious gift we could give. <br /><br />So the next time you have a moment of feeling selfish and negative, don't feel that you have to mental psych yourself out of it. It's okay to just sit there and say 'today i am sad and kinda pissed off. I feel like nobody is on my side, it may not be rational, but thats how I feel' and instead of trying to play off all of our emotions as positive or grateful, it's okay for them to not be. Nobody is happy all the time, it's sociopathic. It's okay to accept the dark side of things with the light side of things. Feel what you feel. It's okay. It's normal. Demetriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16810695619209494181noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-56610894124710835942013-10-13T16:57:55.726-06:002013-10-13T16:57:55.726-06:00you are darling. such a cute and inspiring blog!you are darling. such a cute and inspiring blog!abigail louisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04897933472659245226noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-45528246510701302712013-09-27T08:50:41.152-06:002013-09-27T08:50:41.152-06:00Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts!<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-30199644834342837692013-09-26T19:53:46.247-06:002013-09-26T19:53:46.247-06:00What a wonderful article! I am so impressed with ...What a wonderful article! I am so impressed with your maturity. Not many adults pull themselves out of difficult emotional situations. Lots of hugs!emilybthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02282187131906069791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-87069977685928288042013-09-26T15:57:30.548-06:002013-09-26T15:57:30.548-06:00Fabulous article. You're awesome!!Fabulous article. You're awesome!!Lindsey from The R Househttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16487077462904179112noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-22663208322353159502013-09-05T13:17:54.918-06:002013-09-05T13:17:54.918-06:00I just found your blog from the IAC Facebook page,...I just found your blog from the IAC Facebook page, and I love it! I am also a birth mom. My daughter's bio dad hasn't talked to me in almost 6 months, he doesn't know she was born or really anything about the adoption. I'm hoping he stays out of our lives because I don't believe he should know anything about her. I did email him on my due date and didn't think he would answer, but he did. All the anger and hatred towards him came back too. I'm in the process of writing him a letter to tell him to stay out of our lives and he doesn't deserve to know my daughter or her parents!Lizzyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15042915737542581369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-22318315145037059442013-08-20T13:14:48.835-06:002013-08-20T13:14:48.835-06:00Beautiful. I Heart Adoption posted this blog on f...Beautiful. I Heart Adoption posted this blog on facebook today. I'm glad they did. I live two open adoptions with my children and their birth moms. We wouldn't want it any other way. I am constantly humbled by the depths and strength of the love we all have for each other. Congratulations on making it the first year. Baby girl will know she is loved...always, by everyone. It takes strength and courage to keep openness going. Thanks you for sharing.Lisa T.https://www.blogger.com/profile/07458511810640542071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-36835467888141744162013-08-15T08:45:44.312-06:002013-08-15T08:45:44.312-06:00Brings back so many memories reading this. I to am...Brings back so many memories reading this. I to am a birthmom. I know I made the right decision for my daughter but it still didnt make the pain any easier. Much love and respect for all the birthmoms out there! ! HollyHolly Leannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16462306806407014748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-18296996959379357862013-07-21T17:49:42.752-06:002013-07-21T17:49:42.752-06:00As a woman getting ready to search for a wonderful...As a woman getting ready to search for a wonderful birth mom to give us a baby to love, I really appreciated reading your blog. Good to hear what you felt and went through. I know it must have been hard, I can't even imagine..but what love you have to make that hard decision for your baby. How blessed the family was that you chose...Thank you for sharing your story...Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14526027386709627119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-35481128471080402992013-07-07T21:07:05.353-06:002013-07-07T21:07:05.353-06:00Oh my Laura ... tears, your words have brought abo...Oh my Laura ... tears, your words have brought about tears. YOU ARE A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! May God continue to guide your every step! Congratulations, Happy Birth Day Momma, Happy Birthday Kinley and Happy Birth Day Birthday Nicole, Toby and family! God Bless!!! Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03961262265382112469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-44915465073584803782013-06-21T12:35:01.955-06:002013-06-21T12:35:01.955-06:00I found this through facebook. You are so amazing....I found this through facebook. You are so amazing. I placed my son almost 2 months ago. I already had 2 kids, all with 1 guy who doesn't help. I care about the baby's well-being but don't feel like his mother & don't even have the desire to see him. You supporting other BMs and reaching out is awesome. Totally random. :) hehe I am definitely bookmarking you though!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10064793875478180400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-86667607398773210342013-06-14T16:33:17.235-06:002013-06-14T16:33:17.235-06:00"I could go to the pool with my stretch marks..."I could go to the pool with my stretch marks showing and people would understand because I have my baby with me, but instead, people are confused and wonder why my body is so "torn apart." I think the same thing when I go to the pool. You write so wonderfully! I wish I could write like you! Erin https://www.blogger.com/profile/04673944266717143033noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-81352194356292983222013-05-24T13:45:03.021-06:002013-05-24T13:45:03.021-06:00Laura, I just love reading your posts. It is so in...Laura, I just love reading your posts. It is so interesting to me to see the perspective from your eyes. I can't imagine these feelings you have. I can easily say that you as well as many other birth parents I know are heros in my life as weird as that sounds. THANK YOU!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16939053505319119179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-23201720031636887232013-05-13T07:42:07.686-06:002013-05-13T07:42:07.686-06:00As a hopeful adoptive parent I have always wondere...As a hopeful adoptive parent I have always wondered how a BM feels about BMD. I agree with you that it is awesome that there is a day to celebrate but it but seems so brutal to put it the day before MD. It would be sooo much better to have a couple months after or before. I am so glad you had a great time at the temple. Shaileen and I have not been for a few months but when we do go it makes whatever struggles we are going through seem so minimal. Shaileen is the same with church, every MD we consider it a free day off. I am so glad you were able to facetime with Kinley, that has got to be the biggest high you could have had on MD. Happy late Mother's Day you. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16939053505319119179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-5741316500045976822013-05-13T06:33:13.446-06:002013-05-13T06:33:13.446-06:00Oh sweet Laura... Thank you for sharing your heart...Oh sweet Laura... Thank you for sharing your heart. I love your "voice" and you have a very special place in this world! Thank you for your Bravery! Xoxo<br />Www.carriedbylove.comJillyGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16915552321078249501noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-78830139889304686212013-05-06T18:07:34.257-06:002013-05-06T18:07:34.257-06:00Hey! I found your blog today when I noticed you w...Hey! I found your blog today when I noticed you were following me on Instagram. (note to self: Follow Laura on Instagram. :))<br />Anyway. I always like to hear about the 'other' side of adoption. I'm sure it's different for every birthmom just like it's different for every adoptive mom... It's even different with each adoption.<br />I started reading from your first blog post and this is as far as I've had time to read but I'm sure I'll be back to read more.<br />I just wanted to say that I think you are so brave and strong and I love that you are sharing your story. Hopefully it can give someone in your same situation the courage to look at all her options. Even if it's just one girl... Just think how many lives that will change and bless!<br />P.S. I think your mom is super amazing too! ;)Kristahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06596746927191491086noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-54010939063081574432013-04-06T19:21:31.159-06:002013-04-06T19:21:31.159-06:00Thanks for your post Laura! Isn't the Atonemen...Thanks for your post Laura! Isn't the Atonement an incredible thing? He understands each and everyone of our burdens because he has gone through each of them personally. I don't know your personally but I can tell you are an incredibly strong person and I look up to you. As a hopefull adoptive father I have to say thank you for being a great example to me!<br />KurtAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16939053505319119179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-66578482997541158052013-04-06T11:55:20.166-06:002013-04-06T11:55:20.166-06:00I ended up in the psych ward about a month after p...I ended up in the psych ward about a month after placement. I was suicidal. I also knew deep in my heart that God wanted me to place my son. Everything leading up to placement was so clearly God telling me and the adoptive parents that my son was meant to be theirs. <br /><br />The wounds and hurt and hole in your heart is still so fresh. That what you're feeling is "normal" and I think every birth mom has felt the way you did. <br /><br />My son will be 5 in December. There is not a day that goes by that he doesn't cross my mind and heart. But the longing to have him back, and hold him, it's just a dull pain now. <br /><br />I hope that you're able to get help. If for some reason the director in Denver can't help you. You might consider going a different route to get some counseling. I think finding someone to talk to will help a lot. It helped me a lot. Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00414997139963447868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-2964217134508140622013-03-29T09:09:32.072-06:002013-03-29T09:09:32.072-06:00Great post Laura! Shaileen and me are both obsesse...Great post Laura! Shaileen and me are both obsessed with Teen Mom. (my guilty pleasure, haha) I have not seen that episode ever but will definately have to pull it up on netflix and watch it maybe this weekend. I totall agree with you from the hopeful adoptive parent side of the adoption triad. With our previous failed placements both of the mothers were very open and stated that they knew it was the right decision to place and they still had those feelings to change their mind, which I do not blame them because would be an incredibly tough thing as you know. However, I cannot even imagine those feelings when you are not sure if it is the right thing, do not have support or too much pressure in one direction. I just have to thank you for your posts because I really enjoy reading them as someone that is hoping to adopt seeing your side of the story. Thank you!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16939053505319119179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-85212562328956837132013-03-27T17:12:32.490-06:002013-03-27T17:12:32.490-06:00Found your blog after you started following me on ...Found your blog after you started following me on twitter - thanks by the way for that ;)<br /><br />Those are all valid fears, and I think every birth mom has had them at some point, even maybe multiple times in their lives. I know that all of those fears were mine at one point, if not now. Number 1 is actually one I'm dealing with now, as my husband and I have been trying for a year to get pregnant, and it's taking a little longer than it did with my birth son. It's how you deal with these fears that is important.Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00414997139963447868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-48912593139077657532013-03-26T10:07:36.670-06:002013-03-26T10:07:36.670-06:00Those are certainly valid but from what you have s...Those are certainly valid but from what you have said on previous blogs and just photos on instagram I can tell that Kinley is loved by both you and your husband as well as her parents. Of course she will have thoughts but with that love she will know why you chose her placement. You seem like such an amazing person. I just have to say thank you for sharing your experiences and feelings.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16939053505319119179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1924724741599610147.post-46254800410598419632013-03-08T06:05:04.429-07:002013-03-08T06:05:04.429-07:00Oh Laura ... I am so sorry to hear of your recent ...Oh Laura ... I am so sorry to hear of your recent struggles. Although I can't say I understand your feelings please know that I support you 110%!! As you know I have been following you for a while now unsure of why God made this connection but so blessed by all I have learned. Please know that I am praying for you, for Kinley, for Toby and Nicole and yes, for "birth dad". As you know and have stated before, things happen for a reason. Although you don't know "why" yet, I am sure at some point God will help you understand. Put your faith and hope in Him and keep writing! We all go through "what if's" ... I think that part is completely normal, just continue to remind yourself, as you are doing, that it is all for Kinley and you did what was best for her. I can't begin to imagine your heartache but based on everything I have learned about you over the last several months you are a very smart, courageous and beautiful woman and I truly admire you! Hugs and prayers from a "stranger" in Michigan!Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03961262265382112469noreply@blogger.com